


Make Me Wanna Die

by shupashta



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Romance, Smut, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 07:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1543262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shupashta/pseuds/shupashta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yunho’s boyfriend makes him want to die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Me Wanna Die

_“Bois! Et que mon amour s’infiltre dans ton corps avec mon sang!”_

Théophile Gautier, _La morte amoureuse._

 

The door looked heavy. He knew that door, and it was not much different from any other door. It was just a regular door, but he knew it would be heavier than usual.

 

He thought about not going in. Instead of unlocking it and pushing it open, he would turn around and walk away, and not break his resolve.

 

His hand rose to the doorknob, but his feet started turning around.

 

Right then, he heard a faint sound coming from behind the door.

 

He sighed and pushed a key inside the lock. The sound it made was rather unpleasant but he ignored his dread, turned the doorknob and stepped inside the room.

 

A chill crawled under his skin. He had not come here in nearly a week, so the heater had not been turned on despite the sudden fall of cold weather over the city.

 

He closed the door and just as the lock clicked, he was pushed up against a side wall.

 

There was only a faint ray of moonlight that shined through the thin curtains but it was enough to make out the silver strands of hair that framed the head of the person pushing into him against the wall.

 

Lips parted to ask in a breath against his ear, “Yunho, where have you been?”

 

He shuddered under the hot puff that hit his neck and closed his eyes. “Busy”, he simply said, trying to control his racing heart.

 

His hands went to the waist against him and grabbed it on their own accord. His fingers tightened around the lithe body when a tongue darted out to lick a line down his neck, to reach one collarbone where a kiss was placed.

 

“You’re lying,” the other mumbled, nose now nuzzling under Yunho’s chin.

 

“Jaejoong…” he tried, but lips pressed against his, strangely warm.

 

He did not like it when they were warm. He wanted them cold, like two thin ice cubes that would burn his skin with every little peck placed on his jaw.

 

Jaejoong’s heated hands brushed his shoulders and dragged against his skin to entangle in his hair as he kissed Yunho again, more insistent.

 

He felt like a fool for falling so easily into the unpleasantly lukewarm embrace, but his body was already responding to Jaejoong’s rubbing and Yunho heaved a sigh as he let go of his restraints, finally answering back.

 

There was a tremble in Jaejoong’s movements, as if he was trying to control himself, or maybe as if he had been cut off drugs not long ago.

 

It was not wrong to compare his state with that of a junkie who would have been denied his favorite dope. Yunho knew exactly what he was to Jaejoong, but he could not deny he was himself taking advantage of that.

 

He was a willing addiction and he did not mind that Jaejoong constantly drank him to excess.

 

Already, Yunho could feel they were both close, even though they had only been kissing and rubbing against each other. But again, he guessed it made sense that they would fall harder after having been cut off for what seemed like an eternity.

 

He turned them around, exchanging roles as he pressed the smaller man into the wall, a wall colder than Jaejoong.

 

The thought made him snarl and he growled heavily in Jaejoong’s ear, “Are you gonna come in your pants, Jae?”

 

He was answered with a mewl, a small, frantic and pathetic mewl, a sound only someone desperate would make, and Yunho realized how disturbing it was that he enjoyed being the source of Jaejoong’s desperation.

 

But Jaejoong was himself the source of all of Yunho’s inner conflicts, the wars he battled every day in himself as he fought to reach and grab the right decision, even though he always lost and let himself fall back further down, feeling strangely content as he watched his own demise.

 

He needed Jaejoong to fall with him, or at least, to look like he could actually be as pathetic as he himself was, and, as he bit under the other’s ear on a soft patch of skin that he knew was oversensitive, he felt a little satisfaction at making the other lose himself so easily.

 

He chuckled darkly, murmuring in a breath on the abused spot under Jaejoong’s ear, “You made a little mess here, Jae.”

 

Jaejoong moved to gaze at him with dark eyes, licking his reddish lips.

 

Suddenly, Yunho was thrown though the room and he fell flat next to the bed, body convulsing with the force of his own orgasm.

 

As he breathed harshly to regain control, he heard Jaejoong chuckle as he took a few steps toward him, “Well, it looks like you made a little mess too, Yunho.”

 

Between ragged breaths, Yunho managed to mutter “Cheater”, which made Jaejoong laugh.

 

“I beg to differ,” Jaejoong chortled, arms up in surrender, “I’m innocent.”

 

Now that he had come down from his forced orgasm, Yunho sat up, gazing at the man standing close to him.

 

He did not budge when, with a smirk, Jaejoong removed his shirt, which he threw away before he unbuckled his belt while removing his boots in a swift motion.

 

His skin reflected the moon’s silver rays in strange ways, as if absorbing its energy but rejecting its light.

 

He dropped to his hands and knees, crawling like a feline, the buckles of his belt tinkling with every step until he reached Yunho’s spread legs.

 

Yunho found the way Jaejoong’s muscles jutted in the moonlight mesmerizing and he started when he realized the other man had reached him.

 

Fascinated, he stared as Jaejoong nuzzled one of his legs and rubbed his face along it until he reached his crotch. His jeans were slightly wet there, a darker stain that adorned the cloth.

 

Sighing, Jaejoong closed his eyes as he rubbed and nuzzled against it, breathing in deep intakes of Yunho’s scent. His hands came up and started undoing Yunho’s trousers, and the latter asked, with a hint of amusement in his voice, “Do you want to suck on me, Jae?”

 

Jaejoong did not answer as he pulled the piece of clothing until Yunho raised his hips to have the trousers pushed down his thighs and around his ankles.

 

The first touch of Jaejoong’s tongue against his member had Yunho choke a little, but he soon lay down and let Jaejoong have his fun, enjoying the ministrations as he felt himself fill up again.

 

When Jaejoong felt Yunho was hard enough, he removed his own trousers and moved up, straddling Yunho’s lap, naked. He rocked his hips and closed his arms around Yunho’s neck when the latter sat up and set one hand on Jaejoong’s waist.

 

Yunho let Jaejoong do when he took that hand that had been resting on his waist and inserted two of its fingers in his mouth.

 

There was a strange feeling in his chest, not enjoyable but not unpleasant either, as Jaejoong dragged his teeth across the skin in his mouth, and Yunho’s breath hitched again when Jaejoong’s dark eyes were suddenly staring at him, glowing strangely in the dark room.

 

Yunho’s insides churned under the intense gaze but he asked “Are you hungry?”

 

Pulling the fingers out of his mouth, Jaejoong sighed but again, he gave no answer. Instead, he directed them downward, between his spread legs.

 

There was a plea in the dark eyes staring at him, and Yunho complied, hardening further as he pushed two slick fingers inside Jaejoong’s tight entrance.

 

He never knew whether it was painful or not for Jaejoong, even though Yunho had a feeling that even if it was, Jaejoong would enjoy it.

 

As he worked his fingers inside Jaejoong’s body, Yunho asked again, “Are you hungry?” and this time, Jaejoong let a ragged sigh out and averted his eyes as he answered softly, “Yes”.

 

Yunho stopped his movement and stared. There was a threat in his voice when he asked again, “When was the last time you fed?”

Jaejoong could not have waited for him, Yunho knew that, but he still wanted to know. He knew he was what Jaejoong wanted and needed, but he also knew he was not the only one Jaejoong could use.

 

He wanted to beat himself up for waiting so long, because in the meantime, Jaejoong had turned to someone else, and the idea of some other man heating Jaejoong’s skin had Yunho’s heart beats quicken in rage.

 

“Two days ago,” Jaejoong answered in a breath, eyes still averted.

 

At the memory of Jaejoong’s warm lips and heated body, Yunho’s whole body shook with anger and he harshly stabbed inside Jaejoong’s hole, earning nothing but a small moan in return.

 

Yes, Jaejoong definitely enjoyed the pain.

 

Yunho pulled his fingers out and grabbed Jaejoong’s face, forcing the latter to finally look at him again. He crashed their lips together, biting his annoyance into the plush lips that he wished were icy cold.

 

Pulling away suddenly, he all but spit his next words to the dark, glowing eyes in front of him. “Feed”, he ordered, and the shudder he felt shaking Jaejoong’s body slightly satisfied him.

 

Rising on his knees, Jaejoong directed Yunho’s member toward his entrance and slowly pushed down, taking the man in with relief after he had been denied for so long.

 

Yunho could feel everything of Jaejoong’s body around him, including the spasmodic shudders that animated the other’s body as he tried to control himself.

 

Yunho wanted Jaejoong to lose control and suck on him until every drop of his life had been squeezed out of him. He wanted to infiltrate Jaejoong’s body and poison him until he was the only thing the other could live off.

 

Again, he ordered through gritted teeth, “Feed”.

 

This time, Jaejoong pulled up, head thrown back, and when he came back down, finally, he opened his mouth and lashed at Yunho’s throat, sinking his teeth in and sucking blood out just as he sucked Yunho’s member into his body again.

 

With each gulp that Yunho could feel being sucked out of him, an answering tightening of Jaejoong’s sheath around his shaft had a new wave of pleasure wash across his entire body.

Jaejoong moved in sync with his sucks on Yunho’s throat, messily drinking, reaching for the other man’s hair and pulling locks of it as he fought his orgasm while his body quivered under the pleasure of Yunho’s blood and pulsating member inside of him.

 

Suddenly ripping himself off Yunho’s throat, Jaejoong came with a hoarse moan, blood trickling from his mouth, down his neck in thick trails, harshly contrasting with his white skin.

 

He looked so seductive in a primal way, like a deadly but fascinating predatory that played with its prey before giving it the final blow, and his body moved so sensually and clenched so thoroughly around him from the ecstasy of his completion that Yunho had to close his eyes against the sight as he followed, coming undone deep inside Jaejoong and losing footing from the reality into a pleasure-filled heaven ruled over by the demon still straddling his body.

 

When he finally came down from his haze, Yunho was lying in the bed, still naked but half covered with a thin white blanket that showed all too well stains of blood. Jaejoong was seated against the headboard, looking unnaturally still until Yunho stirred and the other man looked down at him with a smile.

 

“I took too much. I’m sorry,” Jaejoong said, but he did not look very apologetic. His eyes were glistening with life and his skin was rosier than it had been before he fed off Yunho.

 

“Didn’t think you’d be that hungry…” Yunho replied as he sat up, trailing off with an accusatory look.

 

Jaejoong made a strange, hissing noise and showed his fangs, mouth opened and tongue licking at the corner where some blood had dried off. He was not really one for washing up after having fed.

 

“You left me to starve,” he started, looking into Yunho’s eyes. “What exactly did you expect me to do?”

 

Yunho sighed, “Change me.”

 

A heavy silence fell over the room.

 

“It’s not the first time you asked,” Jaejoong said, breaking the silence after a few minutes, “and my answer hasn’t changed.”

 

Clenching one fist, Yunho did his best to control his voice as he asked, “Why?” And before Jaejoong could answer, he added, “Why won’t you do this for me? For us?”

 

He looked at the still creature sitting next to him, feeling helpless and useless. He had started talking about changing about a year before. Jaejoong had always been opposed to the idea, but he never explained why, and all Yunho could think of was that he would grow old and die, and Jaejoong would remain forever young and would just pick another one after him.

 

He did not use to think about the future with the vampire. What future could you have with someone who fed off you? But something had changed. The way he looked at Jaejoong had changed, from morbid fascination to something much deeper, much stronger.

 

Well, apparently, he was the only one to feel different. He could not blame Jaejoong for still feeding off other humans, but he could not help but hate it.

 

As if he had been reading his thoughts, Jaejoong said quietly, “I would still need to drink other humans’ blood. You would need it too.”

 

“Wouldn’t it be different?” Yunho asked tiredly. “I am nothing but a prey to you, so long as I remain a human. Maybe you would start taking me seriously if…” But Jaejoong cut him off.

 

“I do take you seriously,” He said, voice barely over a whisper, “But I won’t do it.”

 

His tone was final.

 

“The sun will rise soon,” Jaejoong said again, avoiding Yunho’s cold stare.

 

In a matter of seconds, he was dressed and gone, leaving Yunho alone with his thoughts in the cold apartment.

 

*

 

The sun was shining brightly through the window and Yunho had been washing up his place. He had passed the vacuum cleaner, washed the floor until it shone and tidied up all the things that had been lying around. He had done the laundry, ironed the cleaned clothes and put them all, folded, in the drawers and the wardrobe.

 

Then, he had cleaned the bathroom, scrubbed the shower and the tiles until everything shone.

 

All this work made him think, about Jaejoong, his reasons to refuse to transform Yunho, what they had had together up until now, what exactly Yunho meant to him.

 

No answer had been satisfying. The only thoughts Yunho could come up with were that he was nothing but a regular prey for Jaejoong, a prey for more than blood, and above all, a willing prey, which was a rather profitable thing for Jaejoong.

 

Drawing from that first conclusion, Yunho guessed that what he called “their story” probably meant close to nothing, if nothing at all to Jaejoong.

 

From that, Yunho finally concluded that Jaejoong refused to change him because he would lose more than he would win.

 

So maybe, Yunho should cut it off with Jaejoong. Would the vampire kill him? It was likely.

 

He could also constrain him. It was not such a hard decision to make.

 

The sun was going to set soon, so Yunho went to the sink in the bathroom. He inspected his cheeks in the mirror, looking for stubble, but his skin was still smooth.

 

He clogged the sink and opened the tap, waiting until the water reached the edges. Then he took his razor’s blade and made a clean cut.

 

It needed to be clear; Jaejoong had to understand right away.

 

It was Jaejoong who had looked for him in the first place. It was only right that he would be the one finishing it.

 

Who was to say that they could not pick up what he had stopped? It would be different; they would start anew and on equal footing this time.

 

It was only up to Jaejoong.

 

Yunho looked at his wrists in the sink, but all he could see was a blood-filled basin, his hands disappearing in it up to his wrists.

 

He looked up at his pale reflection. And he collapsed.

 

 

 


End file.
